Here Comes Almost ⭐️

“We are in a loneliness epidemic! In 2023, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared loneliness a global health threat. In response, they’ve sent Almost – a hopelessly hopeful clown – to solve it one theatre at a time! Through physical comedy, song, dance and audience interaction, Here Comes Almost follows one clown’s wildly misguided yet sincere attempts to cure the world of loneliness.”

There are shows where you leave the theatre thinking, I don’t think that was for me. And then there are shows where you leave wondering how something with such a promising premise managed to become so relentlessly repetitive. Unfortunately, Here Comes Almost falls firmly into the latter category. The concept is lovely. Loneliness is an increasingly serious issue, and the idea of sending a hopelessly optimistic clown into theatres to try to solve it through physical comedy, music and audience interaction has plenty of potential. A warm, potentially touching show is hiding somewhere inside this production. Unfortunately, I didn’t see it.

Direction starts interestingly enough, but very quickly becomes repetitive and, frankly, boring. The same ideas are revisited again and again without developing into anything new. What initially feels like a deliberately simple clowning style soon begins to feel like the production has run out of ideas.

LX is perfectly pleasant, but does very little to add impact to the production. There were moments where one light was not mirrored on the other side, which became surprisingly distracting, but my bigger issue was how little the lighting contributed overall. For a show that is so visually dependent, I wanted it to create more atmosphere and variety.

Sound suffers from much the same problem. It works, but rarely enhances what is happening on stage. There is very little sense that the sound design helps build momentum, comedy, or emotion. And certain sounds make you want to throw the desk out of the window.

Costume is, bizarrely, one of the funniest things in the entire show. Almost appearing in a dinosaur child’s onesie initially made me think I was in for something gloriously ridiculous. The reveal is genuinely funny and gets one of the biggest reactions of the show. Unfortunately, the joke lasts about a minute. After that, I was left wondering why this costume had been chosen for a show about curing loneliness. It is such a strange choice that I almost wish the production had leaned into it more. The funniest idea in the show is introduced, enjoyed and then largely left behind.

The biggest problem, however, is the book. Some shows have uneven writing. Others show potential but feel like they need another draft. And then there are shows where you spend much of the running time wondering how the material made it onto the stage in the first place. Sadly, Here Comes Almost falls into that final category for me. The repeated trips back to the whiteboard quickly become exhausting. The business of choosing magnets goes on for far too long, without generating enough comedy to justify the time spent.

And then there are the high-fives. The audience interaction is clearly intended to make us feel connected, which fits the theme perfectly. But repeatedly returning to the same high-five interaction doesn’t make the audience feel more connected; it makes us wonder when we are going to move on. The problem is not that the show is slow. It is that the material doesn’t develop. A joke is stretched and then stretched again. Then returned to later. Then repeated. Then repeated. Eventually, instead of laughing, I found myself mentally calculating how much time might be left. That is never where you want your audience to be.

The premise of Here Comes Almost is about loneliness, but there is very little emotional or dramatic progression to make us invest in Almost’s mission. We are told that the character wants to connect people, but I never felt that journey developing into anything substantial. A genuinely interesting question runs underneath this show: Can you actually cure loneliness simply by forcing people to interact with one another? That could have been the foundation for a really clever piece of clown theatre. Instead, the production repeatedly returns to the same handful of ideas without pushing them anywhere particularly interesting.

Noah Seltzer’s performance is committed, but unfortunately I found it incredibly difficult to engage with. A couple of moments generated genuine laughter, but for most of the performance, I struggled to see what I was supposed to find funny. Seltzer throws himself into the physicality of the character, and there is clearly a lot of energy involved, but energy alone isn’t enough. The character needs progression, variety and comic escalation, and I rarely felt that happening. The audience seemed similarly disconnected from the performance, which is particularly unfortunate given that audience connection is supposedly the entire point of the piece.

Here Comes Almost has a genuinely worthwhile subject and a potentially charming central idea. Unfortunately, the execution never finds the emotional depth or comedic variety needed to make that premise work. The production feels far too long despite only being an hour, largely because so many ideas are repeated rather than developed. The whiteboard, the magnets, the high-fives and the various audience interactions become increasingly tedious rather than increasingly funny. And perhaps the biggest irony is that a show about loneliness left me feeling like I was sitting through it alone.

Here Comes Almost plays at Playground 1 at ZOO Playground from the 7-30th August at 9:30 pm.

🎟️ Book tickets for Here Comes Almost